Silly Anxiety

When we found out I was pregnant again, I was so scared. Everything we'd just been through was still so fresh in my mind. Even though I'm a nurse, and I know exactly what the answers to most of my questions are, I have to ask them anyway. And I know what questions to ask, so I've had A LOT of questions. Silly, but whatever.

My midwives have been truley amazing. After we'd established that there was indeed a baby with a wonderful little hearbeat in there, they told me they understood how anxious I was, and if I ever had a day where I was particularly nervous, to go ahead and just come on in and we'll listen to fetal heart tones for a minute. Being me, I've had a lot of anxious days. But I'd never taken them up on their offer. Until today.

I get scared working on the nursery or buying baby things. I know how dumb that sounds, but it's still hard to pick up where I left off on my previous baby projects. And I've been working on transforming our horribly messy office into a nursery a lot the last few days. And today I guess I just needed a little reassurance. Even though I'm 14 weeks. So I went in.

Can I just say how much I love my midwives? All of them. They are all so wonderful. Sure enough that beautiful little heartbeat is there and I feel like I can breathe again. I kept appologizing for coming in for something so non-urgent, and she said, "Oh hun, don't appologize. It's no problem at all. Feel free to come in every day if you want to." Making the decision to switch from the OB who never listened to anything I said, to the midwives who are willing to squeeze me in to their busy schedule at a second's notice just so I can listen to my baby's heartbeat was one of the best decisions I've made.