Non-sexual Education

My sister, a freshman in high school, came home from school the other day and told me they'd had a "sex-ed" lesson in one of her classes that day. Knowing that this is a state where people (a generalization of course) are for some reason afraid to educate their children in this area, I asked her what she learned. Part of her answer I fully expected. The other part of her answer shocked me.

She said they (the school nurse and a school counselor) said that abstinence is what they should be practicing until they get married, and that by law that was all they were allowed to teach them. No big surprises there. As outrageous as that is, I already knew what the law is here- as flawed and outdated and RIDICULOUS as it is- so I was expecting that. I was not, however, expecting what she said next.

After their little non-discussion where no one can ask questions about sex or sexuality or anything remotely even suggesting that sex is even on the mind of these teenagers, the nurse and counselor showed them a video. It is this video that shocked and appalled me and the reason why I just may be writing a letter to the school board.

The video is about a young married couple on their wedding night. They decide to give each other a gift. The guy gives his bride a pair of brand new beautiful shoes. The girl gives her new husband a pair of nasty, old, obviously highly worn, trashed shoes. He then says something similar to (sorry I wasn't there, I don't have the exact quote) "You're giving me used shoes? I can't believe you would do that. IT LOOKS LIKE THE ENTIRE FOOTBALL TEAM WAS IN THESE SHOES! You know, the whole cheerleading squad wanted in my shoes. I wouldn't let them have them."

ARE THEY SERIOUS? They just showed this video to a group of teenagers at a PUBLIC high school? Rather than educate them on how to protect themselves from an unwanted pregnancy or a life threatening disease, they chose to teach them that if they have sex before they are married they are USED GOODS and not worthy of their future spouse. There are so many things wrong with this! What message are they sending these kids? And why?
1. If you have sex before you are married, no one is going to want you anymore.
2. Sex makes you used, and therefore not as valuable as something brand new.
3. GIRLS are dirty, sluty, whores with no self control. BOYS are the epitomy of virtue, holiness, and self control.
OBVIOUSLY they are teaching a moral/religious message. Which means this video is also teaching:
4. Repentance means nothing. You're still used goods and no one is going to want you anyway.

I know what you're thinking. "But Ashlee, they can't teach a religious principle like repentance in a public school." WELL THEY SHOULDN'T BE TEACHING A RELIGIOUS/MORAL PRINCIPLE LIKE NOT HAVING SEX BEFORE YOU ARE MARRIED IN A PUBLIC SCHOOL EITHER! Abstinence as the only means of 100% protection from STD's and pregnancy, sure. But abstinence because "you should be saving yourself for your spouse"? I'm sure a good percentage of these kids are already sexually active. How is a video like this helping them or teaching them? UGH!

I swear, if my children come home and tell me this is what they learned in sex ed at school I will be LIVID. And I'll teach them about birth control and condoms myself. I'd rather do the teaching about morals and the school do the teaching about condoms, but if they are refusing to... I don't want my children to end up with a disease because they were ignorant. Why are public schools trying to do the parents job and teach children their morals? They think parents just aren't up to the task anymore? I'm sorry but teenagers have been having sex before marriage for generations. Telling them having sex makes them dirty and used isn't going to change anything. Teaching them how to use a condom might decrease the teen pregnancy rates and minimize the STD's going around.

Are they trying to scare them? Guilt trip them? I just don't understand the goal of this video. If they want to scare them show them a video of a baby being born or pictures of genital warts or something. If they want to guilt trip them... well, they are in the wrong profession. An educator should be educating. Not preaching. And again, if you want to teach them abstinence as the only birth control that works 100% of the time, fine. But for the students who aren't going to use that method, teach them about the others!

A nurse's (or teacher's) responsibility when teaching about sex or sexuality should be to give them the education they need to protect themselves. Not tell them "well you shouldn't be having sex anyway so it doesn't matter." But I guess that's just what they do here. And it's exactly why I will never be a school nurse in this ridiculous state.